Band of Thieves
by Jazzyone
Summary: Totally AU OneShot.  Sirius is considering Remus Remus is considering Lily Lily is considering James James is considering Sirius and well all that visa versa too.  Slash and be warned there is straight heterosexual too.


**Band of Thieves**

Summary: Totally AU. Sirius is considering Remus; Remus is considering Lily; Lily is considering James; James is considering Sirius and well all that visa versa too. Slash and be warned there is straight (heterosexual) too.

All characters belong to Rowling.

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**Seventh Year, End of Term:**

'No man could ever make me hot, I am a one hundred percent heterosexual animal,' James boasted.

'How much you wanna bet?' Sirius asked in his familiar challenging tone.

The next morning, twenty galleons poorer, James stumbled from Sirius' bed and noted that Remus' was still made…the little bugger hadn't made it back at all last night! His brow creased, he was suddenly worried about both Remus and Lily.

And his rear hurt.

And his heart was aching oddly too. And it had nothing to do with Remus or Lily or that odd ball fortune teller they had seen the day before for kicks that had told the same tale to both James and Frank Longbottom (Frank had spent all his money, so James bought the two for one special): One of their first born sons would be famous and known as The Boy Who Lived, she had said, but the parents wouldn't live to know him.

No none of that was bothering James. The aching heart bit had to do with what had come over him last night in that too-warm bed, in those too-warm arms and with that too-warm mouth panting heat into his own.

When Sirius awoke, the only person in the room was Peter, still sound asleep and snoring. Sirius threw a pillow at the lad and Peter groaned turning over and jamming the pillow over his head.

Sirius arose and quickly showered, recalling the events of the previous evening. Well it hadn't been Remus; that is who he had thought might end up in his bed. It had been James; certainly a lad whose charm he could quickly get possessive over, but despite what they had done, it was obvious the lad was crushing for a woman…for Lily.

When James entered the great hall, he breathed a sigh of relief. Lily and Remus were sitting at the long Gryffindor table eating what appeared to be way too much food. He noted they seemed to be scarfing it down with more than their usual gusto…neither were big eaters.

'What in the name of Merlin has gotten into you two?' he asked as he slid onto the bench across from Lily.

'Starving,' Remus said, still munching on his food.

'Watching Remus eat is making me hungry!' Lily said, taking a nice bite of bread.

James grimaced and began filling his plate.

Sirius arrived and elevated his eyebrows when he saw the great mounds of food on Remus' plate. 'What have we here?'

'Hungry.'

'Indeed.' Sirius sat down and smiled engagingly at James who immediately scowled back at him.

Remus captured another ration of bacon.

'Why are you two so hungry?' James asked Remus suspiciously recalling the unmade bed.

'We ended up staying out all night on the bridge under your invisibility cloak talking,' Lily said nonchalantly.

'Yeah,' Remus agreed, avoiding James' eye, 'it was cold, made us hungry.'

'James was hungry too, but that was last night,' Sirius commented, 'luckily he was able to find a few cauldron cakes to satiate his need,' he finished, filling his plate with sausages and eggs.

Remus looked at Sirius.

Lily looked at James.

James flushed.

Sirius shoved a mouthful of eggs into his mouth.

Peter arrived and was greeted with overly friendly salutations from all of the others, except Lily, each looking for something – anything to change the topic.

'Did you sneak down to the kitchens last night, James?' Lily asked.

'No – er – yes.'

Lily lifted her brows and looked from a still flushing James to a grinning Sirius.

'Pass the potatoes,' Peter demanded.

'Well,' commented Lily, passing the potatoes to Peter and sliding her eyes toward Remus, 'perhaps we should finish our discussion tonight on the bridge, Rem.'

James' eyes widened in her direction for a moment and then narrowed. He was silent for a few moments before his eyes turned on Sirius, 'do you think the elves might leave a few cauldron cakes about tonight, Pads?'

Sirius' eyes met the intense hazel eyes of his friend for a moment and then he looked at his plate, 'prolly. Thing is, if we continue stealing from the kitchens, one day the elves might notice and, well you know how the elves are, one of us may end up getting hurt.'

James considered that for a moment. He looked at Remus.

Remus shrugged, 'doesn't that come with the bargain?'

James considered the evening before for a moment. He looked at Sirius.

Sirius shrugged, 'I'm sure I'd be the one caught; you are the slick bastard between us.'

James considered striking Sirius. But in the next second he considered kissing Sirius and putting everything out in the open. All this double talk was making him dizzy.

James leaned around and snogged Sirius. Sirius tasted like eggs.

Remus choked on his eggs.

Lily gave Remus water and when he stopped choking she snogged him with the same fervency that James had snogged Sirius.

Then they all started eating again.

Peter sat frozen looking at the four of them, 'what just happened here?'

'What just happened here,' James responded prophetically, 'is that we have just guaranteed that Frank Longbottom's son is going to be the Boy Who Lived.'


End file.
